Traci Danielson`s Essay 2 Peer Review

Critique on Masculine or Feminine : You Be The JudgeAnswer the following questions as thoroughly as possibleWrite the dissertation overlook in the space provided . Is it a clear belief , or would it be erupt for the source to evoke his thesis / choose in another charge As an adult wintry pistillate , I name seen and back understand the storyteller s recoverings of confusion with g remainderer identity , as discussed in the surprise by Lewis Nordon , The All-Girl Football Team This would appear to be the thesis account , yet there was not an even promise between the writer s give birth , and the bilgewater she establishExplain how well the before paragraph introduces the text and its author , establishes a thesis contestation based on the story and the writer s individualized rendering of masculinity /femininity , and establishes an organizational pattern for the audition . What suggestions give notice you make to improve the intro paragraph ? What further nurture does the writer need to provide about the of the audition in the intro paragraphThe writer introduces herself in a compelling way , since she is a gay female , and is speaking about gender identity issues . Her concluding mastery Ultimately , I impression the narrator learned that there are masculine and distaff traits in for each one individual and it s ok to express the traits of each gender whether you are male or female --seems to be missing the antecedent , as the story she read was mentioned in the firs two paragraphs , and then not mentioned again until the end . I feel the thesis statement would have been to a greater extent blameless had it been primarily about her experience with the two men who performed in drag , or if her shew had include an equal total about the story she cited .

Her descriptive text is engaging and does court the issues at hand merely the introductory paragraph hinted at content that did not appearWhere could the writer add more examples from the story and his /her personal experience to delay the thesis statementI would suggest including reading about religious views , and twist the story content in with her induce experience temporary hookup including content from the story , in to parallel just about of her own experience with that of the story s authorDoes the writer include the required deed of quotes (3 ? Where could the writer include more direct quotes from the storyThe writer included the correct number of quotes , however could hav e added a fewer more in the personal account areas . Overall , the essay was unionised well , divagation from the hints on the thesis statement that were not addressed . I felt the writer could have made this essay better by writing her thesis statement after she wrote the essay itself . I think she had an idea of what her content would be , only if in doing the writing it veered into some other areas not cover in her thesisHow is the essay liftd (clearly , logically , confusingly . apprise an alternative way to organize the essayThe essay...If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website: BestEssayCheap.com

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